If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(OMG...!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves
to death.
(Creepy)

(I'm still not over the pig)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home .. maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life ... quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(Who knew...? Who cares!)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure.
(What about the pig?)

*The average cough comes out of your mouth at 60MPH.
*Playing cards in India are round.
*Each human generates about 3.5 pounds of rubbish a day, mostly paper.
*Children grow faster in the springtime.
*The most collect calls are made on father's day.
*No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
*Barbie's measurements if she were life-size are: 39-29-33.
*More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
*One in every four Americans has appeared on television.
*The average life span of a taste bud is 10 days.
*Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
*The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30ft.
*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Relative to size)
*It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
*Your stomach needs to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it would digest itself.
*A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
*We [humans] only use 10% of our brains.
*Human thighbones are as strong as concrete.
*Blondes have more hair than dark haired people do.
*American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

This guy (The Guy) refused for a picture to be taken of his face, I don't blame him, but he let this horrid photograph of his mutilated penis, testicles, and anus be taken. The snapshot of his anus did not come out, thank goodness I guess. This Uruguayan native has his anus pierced, and pierced to it is the remains of a dead sea bird that he found on the beach that afternoon. He was asked why would he ever display a dead animal on his body and his reply was rather interesting, " Where I am from the bird is worshipped more than your own mother. It is the bird that can fly, not the man. The only way that man can fly is if they go against God and create metal machines that take them high in the air. Man was meant to walk, and not to fly." He might be correct in his thoughts, but I think that even God would be a little weirded out if he saw a dead bird hanging from a human's anus as a piece of decoration. Later this guy's girlfriend showed up, and check her out... (His Girlfriend)

Check This Guy Out!

His Girlfriend

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. [which head?]

What I've learned as I've matured----

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of
money to take ts place.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned to say "F--- 'em if they can't take a joke"

Some people really know how to work the system...

Phillips, a civil engineer at UC-Davis, has become a cult hero in the obsessive subculture of people who collect frequent-flier miles by parlaying
$3,150 worth of pudding into 1.2 million miles.
Oh, yeah -- he's also going to claim an $815 tax write-off.
Last May, Phillips was pushing his shopping cart down the frozen-food aisle of his local supermarket when a promotion on a Healthy Choice frozen entree caught his eye: He could earn 500 miles for every 10 Universal Product Codes (bar codes) from Healthy Choice products he sent to the company by Dec.31. Even better: Any bar codes mailed by the end of the month would rack up double the mileage, or 1,000 miles for every 10 labels. "I started doing the math, and I realized that this was a great deal," he said. "I wanted to take my family to Europe this summer, and this could be the way." Frozen entrees were about $2 apiece, but a few aisles away Phillips found cans of Healthy Choice soups at 90 cents each. He filled his cart with them, and then headed to his local Grocery Outlet, a warehouse-style discount store. And there he hit the mother lode. "They had individual servings of chocolate pudding for 25 cents apiece, "he said. "And each serving had its own bar code on it. I did some more math and decided to escalate my plans." Phillips cleaned the store out -- bought every last cup of pudding in the warehouse. He then asked the manager for the addresses of all the other Grocery Outlet in the Central Valley and, with his mother-in-law riding shotgun in his van, spent a weekend scouring the shelves of every store from Davis to Fresno. "There were 10 stores in all," he said. "Luckily, most of them were right off the freeway." He filled his garage to the rafters with chocolate pudding and stacked additional cases in his living room. But Phillips wasn't finished yet -- he had the manager of his local Grocery Outlet order him 60 more cases. "A few days later I went out behind the store," he said, "and there were two whole pallets of chocolate pudding with my name on them." All in all, he'd purchased 12,150 individual servings of pudding.
Around this time, Phillips began to reveal his scheme to fellow readers of the Webflyer Web site (www.flyertalk.com) http://www.flyertalk.com), where he posted an account under the name "Pudding Guy." Phillips' tale was met with skepticism, if not outright disbelief, until he uploaded photos of his haul. They're still there, at http://www.flyertalk.com/pudding.htm But then Pudding Guy discovered he had a problem on his hands: The deadline for earning double miles was quickly approaching, and there was simply no way Phillips and his wife could tear off all those bar codes in time. "I had to come up with something to do with all that pudding, fast" he said. Phillips trucked the pudding to two local food banks and the Salvation Army, which agreed to tear off the bar codes in exchange for the food donation. "We'd never seen anything like it," said Larry Hostetler, community relations director for the Sacramento Salvation Army. "We've gotten some big donations, but always from companies and institutions, not individual people." Phillips got his bar codes in the mail in time to beat the deadline, and then held his breath. The promotion specifically said I could get the miles for any Healthy Choice product," he said. "But still, it seemed like there
was a good chance they'd get me on some technicality."
But then packages -- large packages -- started arriving in the mail from Healthy Choice. In all, they contained 2,506 certificates, each good for 500 miles. That's 1,253,000 miles. Under the terms of the promotion, Phillips could have the mileage posted in any airline account. He split 216,000 between his United, Delta and Northwest accounts and posted the rest -- 1,037,000 miles -- to his American
Airlines account. By surpassing the million-mile mark, Pudding Guy now has AAdvantage Gold status for life, entitling him to a special reservations number, priorty boarding, upgrades and bonus miles. While we talked on the phone, Pudding Guy did a little math -- as you might have noticed by now, he's very, very good at math -- and figured out that scheme netted him enough miles for 31 round-trip coach tickets to Europe, or 42 tickets to Hawaii, or 21 tickets to Australia, or 50 tickets anywhere in the U.S.
"Wow -- 31 trips to Europe for a little over $3,000," I said. "That's less than $100 a ticket." "Oh, it's better than that," Phillips said. "Since I gave the pudding to charity I can take a tax write-off of $815. So that brings the cost of a ticket to Europe down to $75."
As it turns out, Pudding Guy didn't donate all his stash to the food banks. He kept about 100 servings for himself, and he's just about finished them. "Actually," he said, "I really like the stuff."
-2000 San Francisco Examiner

This is some more sick ass shit!!! ew!

British gentleman by the name of Jonathon Swirlsher. Mr. Swirlsher works at a local carnival, and believe me, he most likely has the weirdest occupation in the world. Mr. Swirlsher actually incubates the larvae of butterfly offspring in the base of his male genitalia and penile structure. I asked him what events in life had brought him to realize that he wanted to go about with this
humanitarian occupation, and his answer was rather striking, " I grew up in a little town which had an environment that was too cold for caterpillars and butterflies to survive. So as a child I would find a caterpillar that was on the brink of frostbite, and I would place him under my testicles to keep Mother Nature's compass from freezing to death," he then explained to me that the caterpillar would try to climb
into his urethra for shelter, and that's when this idea came into his head, "I decided that if I wanted the beauty of butterflies in my little world, then I would do whatever it took to help them survive." Mr. Swirlsher, also known as "Butterfly Charles" by his friends and family, decided to slice microscopic holes around his penis and testicles, and
instead of placing band-aides over these lacerations, he injected the larvae of caterpillars.

He claims that the joy of his life occurs each Spring when he looks down at his penis and watches the beautiful wings of a Monarch butterfly slowly break the surface of his skin and then fly away without ever saying thank you for shelter. He also told me that in order to keep the larvae from escaping he has to keep a piercing in the tip of his penis
made from pure lead. He told me that he actually had some larvae hibernating in him at the moment and asked if I would like to take a picture to show all of the readers, so I told him that this would be greatly appreciated.

Please only click on this link if you would like to see a male penis that has the larvae of Monarch Butterflies hibernating in it...it is really freakin sick!!!!

LOVE BUMPS?